How Not To Steal An ATM Machine In Illinois

Illinois is full of stupid criminals trying to commit stupid crimes.Here are the latest ridiculous cases.

Best advice for criminals in Illinois

If Illinois criminals get a chance to talk before they try to get a job, my advice would be pretty simple and to the point. Seriously, it’s definitely not worth it. To be honest, it’s not really likely to succeed. You are going to end up in jail.

What not to do when trying to steal an ATM machine in Illinois

I know it sounds pretty crazy. Here’s what he shouldn’t do when he tries to steal an ATM machine in Illinois. First of all, once again, don’t do it. If you feel like you have to do it, here are some pointers.

ATMs may look like small vending machines, but they really aren’t. In fact, it’s like a mini safe. Without the proper know-how, training, and tools, there is no way to pull off a job like intrusion. Here’s a perfect example of what not to do.

How not to steal an ATM machine in Illinois

According to mystateline.com,

Rockford Police say they have stopped three thieves who tried to steal an ATM from a PNC Bank branch using U-Haul.

Police said the ATM was badly damaged, but the thieves were unable to retrieve the currency from it.

stupid illinois criminals committing stupid crimes

Illinois’ stupid criminals rented U-Haul trucks. That’s a bad start. Tracking documents is not that difficult. The suspect then pulled the ATM machine along with the vehicle from the location. Now add property damage to their claim list. I think those things are cheap.

I’m pretty sure they also damaged the U-hole. There is a security deposit for that. The thief had never even broken into a machine to steal money, so he didn’t give things a second thought. I’m sure they didn’t explain the video camera. Then finish off this dumpster fire. When the cops arrived they just started running. They left all the evidence, including the rental truck.

At least when they go to jail, this crew isn’t alone. I’m sure they’ll join this Cubs fan who stole liquor from a grocery store pretending to be an employee. If you want more ridiculous crime tales, sign up here.